


John: Become a father...

by ThatOneDinosaurOverThere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: No additional tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 20:19:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3582600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneDinosaurOverThere/pseuds/ThatOneDinosaurOverThere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Technically, this story is about how John becomes a father for two adorable babies. These two babies so happen to be the strider bros, Dirk and Dave. I'm really bad a summaries and plus this is my first fic so please don't judge...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

pt 1  
===> Be Bro Strider  
You are now Dirk Strider, and you are now helplessly running through the rain with two toddlers craddled in your arms. You knew you couldn't do the parenting thing from the moment you picked up the two little guys in a alley. The babies didn't seem to know what was happening because they were napping, and not to mention they don't know the english language, yet. Atleast they weren't getting wet from the rain, thankfully you wrapped them in warm fuzzy blue blankets before you dashed out of the house. ( Get it, dash? Rainbow Dash? Ok, you watch too much My Little Pony.)

But to be honest, you're not too sure what you're going to do with these guys. Originally, you planned on dropping them off on someone's doorstep and knocking on the door before absconding. Except you can't decide which house because your instincts don't trust any the houses you've passed by. Maybe its because you don't want to let the little guys go, I mean they're adorable! But no, you've already reminded yourself many times that you just don't have the money to take care of them.  
Wait, why did that one house give you a strange feeling? Not that the others didn't, its just that this feeling is like... Fate. Like this is the house you must drop your little angels off. Well, the place is fancy, and not to mention huge. So maybe this is the right place? Hopefully.

===> Bro: Just drop the kids off, man. Or as they say, let it go! Let it gooooo!

Alright, I guess its time you say goodbye. You approach the doorstep of the large house, drips of rain falling off your clothes and hair. Your awesome and not dorky shades also. You place down the two infants gently, making sure not to wake them up. Silently you pull out a note pad and write down their names and stick it to the owner. " Dave" on the right, and " Dirk on the left. There, now knock.

===> Bro: Knock

You can't, your fist is an inch away from banging on the door but you can't. You look down at little Davey, his cute, chubby baby face reminds you that if you don't knock... What kind of future these boys might have. A small tear slides down your face and suddenly, you find yourself desperately knocking on the door. Its too late now Strider, Go!

===> Bro: ABSCOND. FLEEEEEEEE!

You catch one more glance at the twins, and then you hear footsteps approach the door from inside the house. You freeze in fear, and when you blink you're already 10 metres away from the house. You don't look back, but tears keep blurring your vision and you're slowing down. Then you stop and look back, the house is no where in sight and you sigh. Oh hey, the bus is here.


	2. Part two: The Egbert

===> Be John Egbert  
You are now John Egderp, I mean John Egburp. I mean- Nevermind. You are now John EGBERT, and you probably shouldn't have stayed up all night watching Nic Cage flicks. But man, are they awesome! You slump off your bed and reach for your alarm and turn it off, god its the weekend and you don't even have to wake up early. Well, actually you do because if you don't your father will most likely come into your room and smother a cake in your face. Seriously, its not the first time.  
You walk over to your dresser and pull out a blue shirt, then proceeded to take off the shirt you had worn for the night. You put the blue shirt on and grab some jeans, you slip them on and walk out your bedroom door. The faint smell of something sweet tickled your nose, dad must've been making pancakes. Or cake, probably cake.  
Finally, you make your way downstairs. Hold on, did someone just knock on the door? Tok tok tok tok tok tok tok!  
" John, could you get the door please?" A voice calls from the kitchen.  
" I'm on it Dad!" You reply.  
===> John: Answer the door  
The knocking stopped, that's a relief. You then open the door to find no one, that's odd. Until you look down. Two toddlers lay on the doorstep, both wrapped in blue fuzzy blankets. Sticky notes with the names " Dave" and " Dirk" patched onto their blankets. Dave on the right, and Dirk on the left. That must be handy, they look exactly alike! Wait a minute, Oh no..  
" Dad, you might want to see this.." You announce over your shoulder.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
===> John: Freak out  
Okay, so there are two babies on your doorstep and their parents are nowhere in sight. I guess its one of those cliches where the mother leaves their child on some person's doorstep to protect them or something. Oh god, what are you going to do???  
===> John: Wait for dad  
Ah, screw this. The old man's taking too long anyway, let's take the infants inside.  
===> John: Pick up babies  
Why can't I hold all these babies??? It seems you can only hold one baby at a time, and you're too lazy for two trips back and fourth. So let's wait for da- Oh, there he is.  
===> Be Dad Egbert  
Sure, you are know Dad Egbert and your son is at the doorway looking quite nervous. I wonder wh- Y ARE THERE BABIES ON THE DOORSTEP???!!!  
===> Both: Freak out  
There you have it, John and his dad are at the door freaking out. God, I wonder who put the babies there?   
===> Dad: CALM YO SELF.  
Alright, I guess it was kind of immature to freak out anyway. Let's calm down now...  
" John?" You ask, but your son is too busy freaking out at the moment.  
" John, stop that and help me take the babies inside!" You growl and John is already carrying one of the babies into the kitchen. Good boy.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
===> Be the baby.  
One can not simply " Be the baby." I mean they can't even crawl yet, or speak english! No way they'll even listen to us. Anyways, you didn't even say which one.  
===> Be the Dave baby.  
YOU STILL CAN'T!  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
===> Be John again.  
Better, you are now John again and wow! This baby is heavy! You take the baby also known as " Dave" to the kitchen and lay him down on the counter, far away from your Dad's cutting knives. Soon, your Dad arrives with " Dirk" and lays him down next to his supposed brother, Dave. You look at your dad and he looks at you.

" John, I know that you might disagree," He stated. " But I think you should be the one taking care of them."  
" Why do I have to?!" You hiss, " I mean, can't we take them to like- I don't know, the orphanage?"  
" John," Your dad starts. " If there is two babies on our doorstep and a parent nowhere to be found, it is law that we take care of them."  
" Its law?" You ask, " In my house it is." He replies.  
" And I'm getting old, John." He says," I can't always be a father. Also you're eighteen! You're pretty obligated to do it!" he adds.  
" Just because I'm eighteen doesn't mean-" You're cut off by your father's glare.  
" Alright, I'll do i-" You're then cut off by the vicous sound of the babies crying, BOTH OF THEM.  
" Really?!" you whined.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
===> Dad: calm those babes down, I mean babies.  
You're now Dad, so calm the babies! You try shoosh papping them, but really that never works. John tries calmly saying " Calm down, please!" No way that'll work. If only you had- MALK- I mean MILK! That's what you need, a bottle of milk.  
" John, pass me a baby bottle." You said, " And the milk."  
" We don't have bab-"  
" In the cabinet, bottom shelf, cardboard box." You address.  
He quickly follows your orders and comes back with the essentials in a minute. You take the milk jug and pour some into the bottle, then began feeding Dave. After that, you fed Dirk. They both calmed down after that. Beforehand, John went upstairs to grab some old toys he had lying around. Soon, he came back with some of his sister's squiddles and a weird puppet thing with the name " Cal" on its blue shirt. God, that thing creeps you out with its puppetness.  
===> Be john  
Oh right, you forgot you switched to John. Anyway, you try handing Dave the puppet and he starts crying when you put it next to him.  
" I feel ya bro." You say as you put it next to Dirk instead.  
The other baby takes it happily and hugs the doll. Hold on, are they both wearing sunglasses!? How did we not notice this? Well dad's- somewhere, I don't know.  
" Hey John!" Your dad calls, you were so surprised you almost peed your pants.  
" Yeah?" you breathed.  
" Can you take care of the babies, I've got wor- Oh wait, you have to take care of them anyways! I forgot!" He laughed.  
The man then came downstairs, wearing his work clothes and a pipe between his lips. He turned to face you and saluted, and finally made his way out the door with a smirk. You hated when he joked like that.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
===> John: Be a father  
Alright, fine. But no way you're going to change their diapers, okay maybe you're dad will be mad if you don't so I guess you have too. So, what exactly do you do when you find toddlers on your doorstep? Either than taking them inside your home, of course.  
===> John: Feed them.   
" But Dad just gave them miiiiiiilk." You complain, in your head of course.  
===> John: FEEEEEEEEEED THEM.  
Ok, ok! You'll feed them, but with what? I mean the last time you had baby food was probably last year when you started babysitting. You shiver at the word, " Never again." you think to yourself.  
===> John: In the fridge.  
Willingly, you check the fridge to find that there actually is baby food. Wow, your dad is a prepared man. You take out the baby food and then bring out a bowl, you set down the two and get out a spoon. The Dave baby stares at you as you open the jar of food, or at least you think he's staring you,(You can't see behind those dark shades!) while the Dirk baby is still cuddling with the Cal puppet/doll/whatever.  
===> John: Cod Clammit, FEED THEM.  
Well, it seems that you cannot feed them because there is another knock at your door.  
" Coming!" you say with a hint of frustration in your voice.


	3. The Harley

" Coming!" You said but with a hint of frustration in your voice.

You rush over to the front door and pull it open, a bright young girl stands in the doorway. Her wavy hair tied tightly into a long ponytail, she wore a lime green tee-shirt with white jeans. 

" Hey, John!" She greeted as a smile spread across her face, " How are you? I haven't seen you in a while."

" Hi, Jade! I'm doing great, come on in!" You addressed.

Jade walked in as you opened the door wider to let her in, she looked around your home with a glimmer in her eyes and then a frown settled on her face. She turned to you with her arms crossed and stated with a huff,

" You guys really need to decorate..."

" Uhh.. Yeah, me and my dad did just move in a few months ago..." You shrugged.

" Hmm..." She mumbled, then that cheery smile came back. Only to be brought down again when the babies started cryin- OH MY GOD WE FORGOT ABOUT THE BABIES!

" John, is that a baby!?" Jade exclaimed as she darted into the kitchen.

You stuttered excuses as you stumbled into the kitchen, but by the time you got there she had already fed the two and was now cradling Dave in her arms. She looked up and shot you a glare, her expression read " You are going to be a terrible father..."  
" John," she whispered. " I thought you said you were done with babysitting, what happened?"

 

" I-"

" SHOOOOSHHH, HE'S SLEEPING..." she shooshed you while gesturing to the baby.

" Oh right," You said a little more quieter. " Umm.. I found the two little guys on our doorstep this morning... My dad said I had to take care of them.." You groaned.

" Well you are 18, and this is great training to becoming a father!" She pointed out.

" But that's what he said!" You whined.

" JOHN." She glared, " SHOOSH."  
" Sorry!" You apologized in a whisper.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
LATER  
" Thank you so much, Jade! You're amazing!" You whispered with a smile as you opened the door for Jade.

" Haha, you're just very lucky you have me to have your back all the time. But you're defintely welcome!" She stated as she stepped outside, " I'll see you another time! Kay?"

" Yeah!" You replied as you watched her walk off, the you closed the door behind you and walked back into the kitchen.

You were feeling quite peckish yourself since you missed breakfast, you wonder why that happened? You opened the refridgerator and searched inside, only an egg carton with no eggs and some leftovers from last night. Your dad was saving that for dinner, so that's off the list. There's no food in this house.. You thought to yourself as you look over your shoulder at the two babies. You and Jade had dug out an old baby carrier from when you were a baby and plopped the two toddlers in there. At first, Dave was scared of the puppet being so close to him and refused to take his sight off of it while Dirk happily slept. That's when Jade carefully turned Dirk on his side to face away from Dave, doing so the puppet was out of his sight and Dave closed his eyes. Or you think he did, you know he's asleep but because of the shades you can't be too sure.  
That's when curiousity struck, you suddenly found yourself geting up and walking over to the two babies. Carefully and steatlhly, you took off Dave shades and placed them on the counter. Yep, he was definetely sleeping. You then proceeded to take off Dirk shades, but since he was laying on his side you had to tilt your body sideways and carefully take them off. Haha, success! You thought to yourself as you placed Dirk's shades next to Dave's.  
Now that their shades were off, you had no idea what to do with your life. The homework you were assigned at school yesterday was already completed when you got home, so that's also off the list. Plus your stomach was growling at you so I guess it was time to go to the store, your dad had made it up to you to go whe you turned 18. It's like he's making you do everything now. But whatever were you going to do with the two sleeping babies on your counter? You didn't know until realisation sunk into your mind; you had to take them with you...  
END.


	4. UPD8

Uhh.. Hello!  
Dino here, just to let you know I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in awhile. That's because I'm not exactly sure I'm going to be continuing this story, i'm on a bit of a writer's block and I think I still need to improve my writing skills. So, thank you for reading anyways... Bye.


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